When times are tough, through overwork and overwhelm, we feel strangely fulfilled. In contrast, when things are easier, after accomplishing a big project or goal, we feel a sense of emptiness and find ourselves asking "What's next?".
Why?
The answer lies within humanistic personality theory which is grounded in the view that people are motivated to grow and develop in a positive way. Before this can be accomplished though fundamental needs must be satisfied.
Abraham Maslow depicts this in his hierarchy of needs.
The first four levels are deficiency needs, We need them to be fulfilled before moving to the
next one. They each have a ceiling - once reached, it becomes about maintenance not growth. Whilst we are in these levels we feel a sense of purpose in striving to achieve what it is that we need to get to the next level. This is why difficult times, can also be fulfilling, as we have clarity of purpose allowing us to prioritise and focus.
The final level, self-actualisation, is growth motivated, it has an infinitely high ceiling. It is the motivation to reach our full potential. This is what drives us to be looking our for 'What's next' - the search for meaning and purpose.
So that fact that we have that 'What's next?' feeling is a good thing. But, what should we do with it?
Pause
In the knowledge that we have this feeling because we are motivated towards growth, stopping for reflection may be just what we need. It is often tempting to take the next challenge that comes along. Most of us find it hard to say no - we feel like we are letting someone down in doing so and saying "Yes" is more exciting, it ends the discomfort of the 'What's next' feeling giving us an immediate purpose. But, what are the benefits of taking some time-out?
Firstly, when we are accomplishing, the other four levels of need are often neglected. We prioritise to meet deadlines, achieve goals and along with priority actions come de-prioritised actions and needs which need topping up. Yes these needs have ceilings but keeping them at ceiling level requires maintenance. Check-in on them, do they need some attention before the next challenge?
Secondly, embrace the discomfort of the "What's next?" feeling - what can you learn from it? According to Maslow, we are in search of our purpose which will enable us to develop to meet our full potential. How do we know we are going in the right direction to find it? Taking time to reflect and consider what we value, enjoy and are good will make it easy to know when to say 'yes' and when to say 'no'. Thus ensuring that where we go next is the right next for us not just the next next that comes our way. It requires patience and trust - believing that the right opportunity will come and what's more we will be equipped with the knowledge to know it is the right one when it does. You don't need to wait to know all the steps, just know that the next one you take is the right next step for you.
Like the wise old Trolls say in the Frozen II movie, "do the next right thing".
The Alchemist
An inspiring story about a young boy in search of his personal calling.
He travels, overcoming obstacles and meeting lots of different people along his journey. His observations about himself and what he learns from others (including his flock of sheep) are full of insight.
The moral of the story is about following your dream - knowing what it is you want, learning from every set back and mistake and persevering trusting that you will get there in the end.
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