When the news broke about Jacinda Arden last week, many headlines referred to her resignation as prime minister as "quitting".
This is pretty common language when someone decides to leave a role of their own accord. The term though has negative connotations - in fact an overall general negativity about it.
It is interesting that when something with a pre-defined term comes to an end, we celebrate this ending and often see it as an achievement. For example, finishing a degree, no-one labels anyone as quitting for not going on to do a postgraduate because the first degree has come to an end, they leave university head held high. Similarly retirement, it comes round for everyone and so again it is celebrated.
Jobs (or even careers) these days are rarely for life. In the UK on average someone changes jobs every 5 years. Therefore, we pretty much know for each of us that ending a job is inevitable. Yet when this time comes, it is often considered "quitting" which sounds negative. Why is that? Quitting is associated with giving up and sometimes it is just that. With ending a position or job though it is more often a decision taken after much consideration and deliberation. It is moving on to something new or allowing time for more of something else in life. The negativity of the term also means that people may stay in jobs or roles longer than is right for them and / or the organisation. This feeling of 'giving up' prevents people from making decisions that are right for them.
In amongst the different narratives put forward by the media for Jacinda Ardern's resignation, were ones congratulating her courage and self-awareness in knowing it was the right time for her to finish. This exemplifies Nelson Mandela's words, "quitting is leadership too".
Still with all its negativity I think it is time to quit using the term "quitting" and reframe.
Reframing - consciously uncoupling from your job
When Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin announced their 'conscious uncoupling' my immediate thought was just call it what it is. But I have come to see the point. Why does an ending have to be labelled in a negative way? It enables a positive ending.
Deciding to leave rather than "quitting" is in many ways similar. Given that everything has to come to an end, leaving a role at the right time is usually a positive decision. It is the care, consideration and deliberation given to the decision that makes it a positive choice to finish. It has a clear rationale behind it and it is enabling the next right step or making space for something else in your life. In Arianna Huffington's book, Thrive, she says 'never make decisions from a place of lack'.
What is key therefore, is ensuring that the decision-making process leading up to the choice is comprehensive. The process needs to encompass a big-picture view of all aspects of your life and the impact the decision will have. In going through this with coaching clients, we look at what's important to them (their values), what they enjoy (their interests), what they are good at (their strengths) and most importantly where they intersect.
This enables a thorough evaluation of how their current role fits in and where the gaps are. If the decision after going through this process is to make a change then they know how they reached it and have a clear rationale for their choice.
Crafting your narrative
Going through this process is also helped by writing a narrative of your reasons for the timing of your decision (it is inevitable that you will leave someday so it is just about timing). Jacinda Ardern communicated her reasons for leaving as 'not having enough left in the tank'. Though the media may have put their own spin on this, in doing so she decided not only when to leave but also her narrative around it.
Whilst we may not even communicate our narrative, it plays a crucial part in ensuring our own self-confidence in the choice we are making. Being able to explain to ourselves our rationale for the timing of our decision helps to make sure it is best decision for us at that time. It is a bit like an exam or essay at the end of your studies - you don't really know you know it until you've answered a tough question about it. That is not to say that it is the right decision - it is never possible to know this - but it does provide us with the confidence to know that we have gone through a thorough and considered process to get there.
Though for most of us, relatively speaking, there is very little interest in our own personal narrative, on a more holistic basis employers and industries need to process and understand why employees are leaving and therefore, some sort of narrative is usually written around resignations. This explains some of the recent buzzwords and trends around 'quitting'. In 2021, as we started to emerge from the pandemic, we had the Great Resignation, people choosing a different job to enable a different lifestyle. Last year, we had quiet quitting, which is more of a theoretical quitting in which employees stop putting in the extra efforts and just do their jobs. Recently I read about loud quitting, in which employees are telling their employers about their dissatisfaction and desire to leave their job as a negotiation tool. I have also heard the 'Peter's principle' being cited as a reason senior employees leave (this is when someone is promoted to a role in which they are no longer competent to perform and in this context, they then leave because they are not performing in the role). Although individual employee narratives tend to be positive, collective narratives tend to be more negatively framed.
Knowing your own narrative for a decision, even if it is never shared, gives you the confidence not to be concerned about anyone else's narrative.
Do you have a decision to make?
Something to read...
Arianna Huffington shares deep personal stories to bring to life her views on the need to rethink how we define success. It is a book about the knowing what is important to us and striving for balance.
Arianna's personal story demonstrates the importance of knowing when it is time to stop and how you can thrive in your career and life whilst caring for yourselves and those around you.
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